Dog and Cat's Diary Excerpts

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    realshocks

    Number of posts : 32
    Age : 45
    Registration date : 2009-02-01

    Dog and Cat's Diary Excerpts

    Post by realshocks on Thu Apr 02, 2009 5:41 pm

    Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

    Day 983 of my captivity...

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

    Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...



    lol!


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    Re: Dog and Cat's Diary Excerpts

    Post by Guest on Fri Apr 03, 2009 5:03 am

    LMFAO!
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    Frsingsalot

    Number of posts : 198
    Age : 48
    Location : Ontario, Canada
    Registration date : 2009-02-01

    Re: Dog and Cat's Diary Excerpts

    Post by Frsingsalot on Sat Apr 04, 2009 12:25 am

    OMG! Hilarious!!
    Love the pic at the end!

    Excerpts from Val's Diary:
    10am - Coffee! My favorite thing!
    10:05am- RS! My favorite thing!
    10:06am- My friends! My favorite thing!
    10:07am- AL! My favorite thing!
    10:08am- Oh yeah quests... Rolling Eyes
    10:09am- Chat! My favorite thing!

    flower

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    Re: Dog and Cat's Diary Excerpts

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